50 Funny Joe Biden Quotes that are just Hilarious ! Joe Biden Quotes by Pushkar Agarwal - December 2, 2021December 4, 20210 Looking for some Funny Joe Biden Quotes ? Then you are at the right place as these quotes said by Joe Biden are both shocking and hilarious that will help you understand him and his views on politics. Funny Joe Biden Quotes "Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya." "A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States — Barack America!" Also See Top 60 Joe Biden QuotesJoe Biden Quotes about SuccessPromise Me, Dad Quotes By Joe Biden Joe Biden Quotes about Life "This is a big f**king deal!" When my first semester grades came out, my mom and dad told me I wouldn't be playing football. "My mother believed and my father believed that if I wanted to be president of the United States, I could be, I could be Vice President!" "I guess what I'm trying to say without boring you too long at breakfast—and you all look dull as hell, I might add. The dullest audience I have ever spoken to. Just sitting there, staring at me. Pretend you like me!" "I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you." "You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking." "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." A successful dump! "Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me." "An hour late, oh give me a f**king break." In this world, emotion has become suspect - the accepted style is smooth, antiseptic and passionless. A man I’m proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States – Barack America! You know there’s an old Irish saying, there’s all kinds of old Irish sayings. My grandfather Finnegan, I think he made them up. But uh, it says, may the hinges of our friendship never go rusty. Well, with these two folks that you’re about to meet if you haven’t already, there’s no doubt about them staying oiled and lubricated here, ladies and gentlemen. Now for you who are not full Irish in this room, lubricated has a different meaning for us all. You need to work on your pecs. I would tell members of my family, and I have, I wouldn’t go anywhere in confined places now. It’s not that it’s going to Mexico, it’s you’re in a confined aircraft when one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That’s me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation, suggesting they ride the subway. If you want to know where Al Qaeda lives, you want to know where Bin Laden is, come back to Afghanistan with me. Come back to the area where my helicopter was forced down, with a three-star general and three senators at 10,500 feet in the middle of those mountains. I can tell you where they are. Look, John’s last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S. Every once in a while, a generation of leaders gets a set of problems that are configured in a way that there’s no historical precedent to look back on – other than our grit, other than some courage and determination – to know how to deal with it. The president and I were talking about something yesterday in the Oval Office which, with the press here I’ll not suggest what it was, but the response to the folks who were in the office was, if we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, we stand up there and we make really tough decisions, there’s still a 30 percent chance we’re going to get it wrong. "The greatest gift is the ability to forget - to forget the bad things and focus on the good. " If I had intended to cheat, would I have been so stupid?…I value my word above all else. A rejection of the entire black awareness concept, where black is beautiful, black culture should be studied; and the cultural awareness of the importance of their own identity, their own individuality. He’s going to let the big banks once again write their own rules – unchain Wall Street. They’re gonna put y’all back in chains. Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids. "Jill and I had the great honor of standing on that stage, looking across at one of the great justices, Justice Stewart." When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn’t just talk about the princes of greed. He said, ‘Look, here’s what happened.’ I may be Irish but I’m not stupid. We didn't crumble after 9/11. We didn't falter after the Boston Marathon. But we're America. Americans will never, ever stand down. We endure. We overcome. We own the finish line. "Look, John's last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs." Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. The only thing I know is I ain't changing my brand. I know what I believe. I'm confident in what I know. And I'm gonna say it. And if folks like it, wonderful. If they don't like it, I understand. In the good old days when I was a senator, I was my own man. You're looking at a middle-class guy. I am who I am. We're going to be OK because of the American people. They have more grit, determination and courage than you can imagine. "Am I doing this again? For the senior staff? My memory is not as good as Chief Justice Roberts'." The Chinese have figured out that they have a giant environmental problem. Folks in Beijing, some days, literally can't breathe. Over a million Chinese die prematurely every year because of air pollution. My dad always said, 'Champ, the measure of a man is not how often he is knocked down, but how quickly he gets up.' My father used to have an expression. He'd say, 'Joey, a job is about a lot more than a paycheck. It's about your dignity. It's about respect. It's about your place in your community.' Unions did in fact build the middle class. And here's what that did. That built the United States of America as we know it. No fundamental social change occurs merely because government acts. It's because civil society, the conscience of a country, begins to rise up and demand - demand - demand change. "Folks, I can tell you I've known eight presidents, three of them intimately." “Look at what they [Republicans] value, and look at their budget. And look what they're proposing. [Romney] said in the first 100 days, he's going to let the big banks write their own rules -- unchain Wall Street. They're going to put y'all back in chains." "If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there's still a 30% chance we're going to get it wrong."